I’m 31 years of age. I’m tired and I’m hungry 78% of the time. I run from one persons demand to another. Someone wants a drink, someone needs a nappy change, someone wants me to watch them dive bomb from the sofa like “a freaking ninja”. I have three days of washing up to do, the cat has pissed somewhere in the living room and I’ve got to track it down. There are emails to read and forget to respond to later, the baby has been sick again and hasn’t had a bath all week.
My every thought is focused on the next thing: must cook dinner, must order online food shop, must RSVP to kids birthday party, must wash uniform, must do bloody tummy time. Ugh, tummy time with a baby who a) seems to think its a method of torture and b) projectile vomits everytime we try… Honestly Niamh, I am not trying to kill you I promise.
…someone wants me to watch them dive bomb from the sofa like “a freaking ninja”.
Whilst this is all terribly exhausting and probably going to bump me off sooner than planned – one good thing has come out of it. It’s a simple equation, a life balance that I like to call:
zero time = zero fucks given
It basically means that when you are running around like a headless chicken, you just don’t have time to
sweat the small stuff give a goddamned shit about anything else. So anything that is not vital to survival, that is not life or death falls by the wayside. It’s a way of sorting out your priorities through natural selection. You don’t have to make hard choices, it’s all done for you – by the ongoing insanity that is your life.
Here are the things that I give less fucks about since I became a slave to everyone I live with:
- Wearing make-up
- Eating breakfast and/ or lunch
- Blow drying my hair
- Idle gossip – please only stop me for really good, mega gossip
- Getting my eyebrows waxed
- Ironing – who am I kidding? I gave no shits about ironing before I had kids
- Responding to text messages – I’m currently averaging a 4 day response time
- First World Problems – I’m sorry but I don’t have much time for your worries about which Thomas Cook holiday to book. Unless you are dying right now this very minute or your arm has fallen off, please move the fuck along.
- Having Actual Conversations – mostly I communicate with my husband via Whatsapp or by shouting keywords at him over the siren that is our screaming baby. I don’t think we’ve used proper sentences for months.
- Remembering Stuff – if I don’t write it down, if it’s not on the calendar or an alarm set on my phone I will not remember. I am juggling so many balls, inevitably one or two are getting dropped.
I hope you found this article about life balance incredibly useful 😉