baby

Thigh Gap Crap

Are you familiar with the term ‘thigh gap’? Do you know what or where it is? Or as in my case, where it should be?

Well allow me to enlighten you – the thigh gap or lack there of, is “the measured space between your inner thighs when you stand with your feet together”. It kinda sounds like its the measured width of your vagina if you ask me, but then I am very old and unfashionable so pay no mind.

Anyway this is really important because the whole World has gone fucking mental and somewhere between having a large arse, a teeny-tiny waist, a fat lip and no eyebrows, we’ve now got to get out a ruler and make sure we have a size-able vagina gap above our knees.

Sexy, ain’t it?

Kinda like Rickets.

Pass me a burger. I just can’t be bothered with this crap.

It’s reasons like this that I’m glad to be approaching thirty and not twenty. I think nonsense like this would have really affected me as a teenager and young adult. Ten years ago all I had to worry about was not over doing my boho-chic and crossing over into tie-dye hippy territory. If I layered my tank tops correctly, listened to the Red Hot Chilli Peppers and drank Malibu and coke I was golden – nothing like how it must be now.

Everywhere I go, everywhere you look its image after image of women photo shopped and filtered. We are literally raising a generation who will spend their youth trying to achieve what they never can – because none of what they are striving for is really real.

Yes I am fat if you’re wondering. 

Well I prefer the term ‘marginally overweight’ – but then of course I do – I’m fat.

But this isn’t a post about being fat or being thin. It’s not even a post about being fat but happy and giving the finger to anyone who judges you.

This is a post about society’s perception of the female form.

“Don’t believe everything you see.”

Is a phrase I think teenagers and young adults should be made to repeat every morning before they look at their phones or tablets. I think its something Mothers should remind themselves of constantly and stop taking celebrity mummys as a standard.

Remember, all these filtered/photo-shopped images are deliberately branded and geared towards selling you a product. Whether that be a literal commodity such as perfume or the product that is an individual and their brand.

You too can be this beautiful/ happy/ popular, if you just buy this shit I’m peddling.

All I’m saying is take all these heavily edited images with a pinch of salt, a shot of Tequila and a mother fucking blow torch.

Peace.

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