I’m sorry but I don’t particularly enjoy school holidays. Well no, that’s not fair – I can and I do enjoy them for the first four or five days – the first week even. Especially if it’s a seasonal one like Easter or Christmas, that first week in the build up to the celebration is great fun. It’s that week or weeks after, with no anticipation – in fact quite the opposite. Just kids strung out on chocolate and your living room filled to the brim with cardboard packaging. It’s that part that’s hard.
Before you start I do like spending time with my children. I enjoy their company, they are good fun. It’s just that lengthy school breaks can be quite well … lengthy can’t they? Lengthy and majorly intense. Like you’re all under a microscope of ‘must have fun, must do stuff, must make memories’.
The Easter break is really early this year. It’s only six weeks since half term in February, plus there was that whole week the school was shut because of the snow. It feels like they’ve actually only been back at school for a month. Like we’ve only just got back into it and now it’s time for a holiday again.
My issue is that a school holiday longer than a week – well, it fucks up all our lovely little routines. I mean for a week you can keep up with the usual wake time and meal times and whinge times. But after 7 days, people start to deviate from the carefully crafted plan. They want to go to bed later, wake up earlier, eat lunch for breakfast. They want to make things at 6am.
There they are sifting through the recycling crate, with a huge fuck off tube of PVA glue in a bid to make a “ninja elephant” from a toilet roll and last nights bottle of red.
I can’t make stuff at the best of times, so there’s no hope at 6am. And by holiday week two I am all out of ideas. I only have three activities in my ‘lets be creative’ bank. The first is making cakes, the second is colouring and the third is sticking stuff to other stuff.
Making cakes is never about the making of the actual cakes. No. no. Making cakes is about licking the bowl, licking the spoon, licking the bloody work tops and sticking your fingers in the tub of butter because it is so squidgy.
Colouring is not a popular activity, it is rarely seen through. I’ll get one fish or a tree out of him and then he’ll be bored and onto the next thing.
Sticking involves those 2 for £1 sticker sheets from Poundland and sheets of A4 paper. Sticking is a popular activity, it’s simple and easy. Thank god for sticking.
Alot of times these end in tantrums or whinging or despairing.
I am just praying that the weather is good and by that of course I mean – just not bloody raining. If it would just not rain going out would be so much easier, so much nicer.
Please let the weather be nice and the school holidays not kill me.