The Motherhood, Working Parent

I Take Days Off Work And Don’t Spend Them With My Son

I work five days a week, full time.

Every now and then, every couple of months or so I take a days paid leave from work and spend it on my own.

I could spend it with my Son. But I don’t, I send him off to Nursery as usual.

And so, here’s the thing:

I don’t feel guilty about this, I don’t give a tiny rats-arse. He’s fine, he loves Nursery and he loves his routine.

I need to be alone, just me, where there is silence.

Do you know that during the course of a normal week the only time I get to myself, the only silence I get is on my drive to and home from work? That’s approximately thirty minutes in total.

Everyday, thirty minutes.

I’m not complaining, I’m just explaining.

There’s only been a handful of these days so far, I’ve been back working full time for just over a year now. But as I use one up, I book another in for a couple of months time. I don’t do anything major, I don’t spend all day at a Spa. I don’t run for the hills or disappear into some drink and drugged fueled daze.

I just do whatever I feel like.

I’ve done the food shop, taken a nap, hung up curtains, had my eyebrows waxed. I’ve been to the cinema, I should have cleaned the oven but I didn’t. I’ve stayed home, in my PJ’s and watched an entire season of GIRLS in seven hours.

I write blog posts.

I went to the Mcdonalds drive thru with no bra on.

If I didn’t take this day every now and then, I think I might go crazy. I need to get off schedule, get off everyone elses schedule and just hear my own voice in my head.

I need the silence.

From the moment you step onto that boat of parenthood, every single decision you make is required to be entirely self-less. You must abandon your wants, needs and former self and give everything to another and put their needs first. Couple that with a full time job and your life is no longer your own, you run from one demand to another in a constant state of exhaustion and confusion.

I love it.

It occupies my mind, I’m no longer  afraid like I used to be.

But I hate it too and that is why I need these days, every now and then.

Just so I can hear the silence.

 

 

 

You may also enjoy...

55 Comments

  1. […] a fit full six hours sleep and then getting up and doing it all again. I was thoroughly exhausted, stressed out and strung out on child care […]

  2. Good for you! My sister and I do this twice a year (so not completely alone), just us. I completely love it, it’s liberating and I think refreshes you!

  3. I love this post and couldn’t agree more! I went back full time in January after ten months maternity and I took my birthday off.
    And I did the same as you. I left the Little Lady in nursery and went to the gym and had my eyebrows done.
    We’re working mother’s but we’re still human and still a person.
    This is a fab idea and I may copy in order to keep myself sane too.

  4. Alone time is very important. Take a bubble bath and pour a glass of something good.
    Thanks for sharing #FridayFrolics

  5. I’ve always been someone who has enjoyed my own company. I would go insane without having time to myself. Thanks for linking up to #FridayFrolics

  6. This post made me jealous. Half-term week here and I am counting the minutes until pre-school opens again on Monday. I need my silence again #FridayFrolics

  7. When The Blog Gets You A Real Life Job – Admissions Of A Working Mother says:

    […] Yes, off the back of this terrible blog. This blog right here with all its swearing and all its sarcasm. Its all very surreal and I am completely winging it. You see I don’t write for a living, I […]

  8. I have done this and at first felt a bit guilty but not anymore. You get so little time to yourself that its vital for your mental health to do this. Once my husband suggested joining me – ‘er no, thank you!’

  9. breakfastclubmum says:

    Me too! I do it too! I’m a working mum and I just like to take the (very) odd day to just do what the hell I like. And sometimes that’s just buying a magazine and sitting in a cafe. I have simple tastes. Thanks for sharing. I might admit it to more people now!

  10. I think that everyone deserves some time alone!

  11. I have a part time job and similar to DadBlogUk find it very sressful I never ever have any alone time, the only time I do is driving to work after dropping the kids and Im usually in a rush so its hardly relaxing. I miss time for myself. I would do this if I could! x

  12. I can totally relate to this. Sometimes you need to unwind and recharge. Love that you wear no bra. I sometimes forget that too! Haha 🙂 Thanks for linking up #FabFridayPost

  13. […] of a Working Mum wrote a fabulous post called I Take Days Off and Don’t Spend Them with my Son about the long-lost “me time” that parents never seem to get anymore. I think […]

  14. Me time is so needed and something that we should all not feel guilty for taking. Thanks so much for linking up to the #MadMidWeek Linky! x

  15. We all need our ‘me time’ being a parent doesn’t mean devoting every single second to your kids! I love mine with everything I have but I also love to escape with either my husband or friends for a weekend a few times of year. I need that time to just be me instead of just mummy! We’re still people!

    Em xXx #StayClassy

  16. The Mum Project says:

    This is such a great post, I love the way this is written, so clear and impactful. It’s so true, becoming a parent means not having even a second to yourself, which is why I take notoriously long bathroom breaks. When I return back to work full-time in June, I’m going to copy you and book in some days for myself as well. Really great idea, I know at some point I will need to re-center and have a moment to be me. Thanks for linking up with #StayClassy!

  17. Oh I envy you and your free time! It feels like I spend 24 hours a day with my children, 7 days a week and it can be SO unhealthy and detrimental to my mental health too!! I crave those moments when I hear nothing but silence, when I can read a book or watch a TV show or just lie on the couch and enjoy doing nothing!! When my youngest starts nursery in September, for two mornings a week I am going to have time to myself for the first time in twelve years. And I cant wait!!!!!!! #PoCoLo

  18. maddy@writingbubble says:

    I totally agree – we need time to ourselves. Post-kids a cinema trip in the middle of the day is the ultimate luxury – I’d do it more often if I could. #pocolo

  19. This is so refreshing to read, I absolutely love this post. Everyone needs a bit of alone time…yesterday I had a 2 hour coffee, first time I hadn’t drunk coffee half cold like it was water!! x #FabFridayPost

  20. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with this – people need to do what works for them! #MMWBH

  21. Sarah - To Maternity and Beyond says:

    Needed to read this post. Been feeling guilty about craving me time. I’m on mat leave but return PT next month. Already fantasising about booking a day off while the boy is at nursery and his sister is in school. May do some online shopping in peace or a few jobs around the house I’ve put off. Perhaps nothing. Haven’t had a moment to myself for the best part of a year and although I love the chaos I want just a few hours of not being responsible for anyone else. Thank you for sharing #PicknMix

  22. Good for you! I think it’s so important that parents get some “Me” time, otherwise we’ll all go a bit loopy. It does us good and that in turn is only a good thing for the kids. #BrillBlogPosts

  23. Sounds like a great day!! We also need time alone so the time we spend together is great too 🙂 Happy mum happy kids 🙂

  24. I totally agree with you on this – silence is golden and we all need a little time away from the world to recharge! #FabFridayPost

  25. Kate Tunstall, The Less-Refined Mind says:

    This is so utterly important. I don’t work in the conventional sense – all my spare time goes into the blog. But I certainly don’t ever do this. I love it. I might try it… X
    #PoCoLo

  26. Hi Sarah, I bet there’s going to be a lot of people booking odd days off after reading your post and I for one think it’s an excellent idea.

    Parents shouldn’t be ashamed to say they need a little ‘me’ time and I say well done you!

    xx

  27. yep, i used to do the same, nothing wrong with it at all

  28. fairyqueen says:

    I have just laughed out loud so hard with the drive through with no bra line:) I always take a week off after the school holidays just so my frazzled brain can try and calm down a little. I’m right there with you:)

    mainy – myrealfairy

    #stayclassy

  29. This!! 100% agree with you. I only work two full days a week and I really enjoy the quiet bus ride to work. I spend the rest of the week with kids, mine, and other peoples. I get three hours to myself three days a week which is great! But, I rarely use it to my advantage, I run around cleaning like a nutter. Sarah #FabFridayPost

  30. twotinyhands says:

    Such a good idea! I am hoping to convince my partner soon to look after the babu so I can have some time to write alone! I love my boy but the 1 hour nap he takes isn’t enough to get me stuff done. Those 30 minutes a day to yourself aren’t yours… You are driving, thats not alone time!! So you go have a day off for you!! #effitfriday

  31. […] Another nominee for the awards, this blogger writes explaining (“not complaining”) about her need for silence. […]

  32. Fair play to you! My kids go to their dads three afternoons a week and while two of them I work, sometimes three…if I get the chance I will spend the time lying on my sofa, not cleaning and eating chocolate without hiding in the kitchen haha! #PickNMix
    http://www.parentingbynumbers.co.uk

  33. I had to read and comment on this as I sit here on my Easter break from work (I’m a teacher) whilst I’ve sent my children to nursery (mostly because I’ve already paid!). I am sooooo looking forward to a day for me – watching the programmes I want to watch, meeting a friend for coffee. I can’t wait. We are better parents when we take time to remember who we are 🙂 #effitfriday

    1. Haha great! I hope you had a brilliant day to yourself, if you nicked my no bra Mcdonalds idea I don’t mind at all lol xx

  34. Don’t sweat it! You deserve your mental health day! I love everything about this post!

  35. I think it is really important for parents to have some time alone. I can imagine working full time and being a mum is very full on. I’m a stay at home mum and find it so difficult sometimes. Now my son goes to play school Ince a week and I cherish those 3hours I have to myself and I don’t feel bad at all.xx #picknmix

  36. moderatemum says:

    My God girl, never feel bad about it you are a BETTER parent for it #brilliantblogposts

    1. This is 100% true, thank you

  37. Time off for ourselves is so important, we need to fill up our glasses, or maybe it’s empty them ready to be filled…I can’t remember. But basically yes, so important! #stayclassy

  38. God I love GIRLS – I’m working my way through it on Sky box sets during the never ending breastfeeding sessions I’m enduring. Good for you anyway, I think it should be some sort of rule that all mothers get a day off to themselves. I wouldn’t even describe it as a luxury – more of a necessity! #stayclassy

    1. That is awesome because no one I know – knows GIRLS and I’m obsessed with it! Maybe it’s not very popular over here, I have no idea why it is so great! I watched eight seasons of Greys Anatomy whilst on maternity leave so I hear ya! Xx

  39. rightroyalmother says:

    Part of me can’t wait until I go back in the summer so I can do this. Currently at home with both (NG 2 1/2 and NC 6mo). I have one day a week when I ‘only’ have the baby. It’s not enough – I’ll be doing the same and now DEFINITELY taking my bra off to go to the McD drive thru too. 🙂 #stayclassy

    1. You def do! No bras, Big Macs it’s amazing lol xx

  40. min1980 says:

    You certainly don’t need to justify wanting a bit of alone time to anyone. I work full time as well so I can definitely relate. #StayClassy

  41. Something About Baby says:

    My favourite thing about this post? “I went to McDonald’s drive thru with no bra on”.

    I’m going back to work full time in July and the thing I’m most looking forward to is my 2 hour train commute – I might actually get to read a book for the first time since my contractions started!

    1. 2 hour train commute? Imagine if you get to sit the whole way that will be amazing – you could even sleep! Xx

      1. Something About Baby says:

        I get on at the end of the line, so bar train delays, I ALWAYS get a seat 🙂 i can’t wait!

  42. I don’t blame you – I crave that me time too. I’m home with my daughter full-time while on mat leave, but will be going back to work soon. I love when my husband takes her for a walk on the weekends, leaving me alone for an hour so I can do whatever I want. It’s nothing exciting – blog, clean, read – but it’s my own time.

  43. Oh I love this and I completely understand the overwhelming need for silence sometimes. I think taking a day for yourself is really important as it helps keep us sane. Sometimes we just need a day to binge watch Netflix 🙂 #stayclassy

    1. Oh yeah Netflix and catch up TV is another one!

  44. I wish I could do the same, but working in a school means my time off is the same as the children. Sometimes you just need some peace and quiet and time for yourself.

  45. jermbarnes says:

    Gotta have this time every once in a while or we’d all go nuts. Right there with you on this

  46. No doubt someone will be along shortly to tell you how wrong you are, but I agree with you. There are times when you need Mummy Time. Exclusive Mummy Time with just Mummy. Doing Mummy Stuff. Enjoy!

  47. My response to this is….”and”? Are you supposed to want to spend every spare minute with your son? Going back a couple of years, I had a part time job (I’m a stay at home dad). It was the most stressful time ever. During that period, I never had time to myself. I was either working part time or had kids with me, 24/7, 365. The thought of the odd day off, well, it appealed but it never happened! At least now I have some child free time when my youngest is in pre-school. My word do I need it. #MMWBH

Leave a Reply