The Malta Inn, Maidstone

“MOVING home is more stressful than a relationship breakdown, divorce or even a new job.” According to Google

“It’s more stressful than having baby!” According to my colleagues.

We originally booked this week off months ago for a ‘stay-cation’ for the three of us, trips to the beach, BBQ’s in the garden – that kind of thing. We did it last year and had lots of fun.

In the end it became our “moving house holiday”, which wasn’t much of a holiday at all. In fact I’d say it was the exact opposite of a holiday – it was a stress filled extravaganza that left us with bad backs, no internet and low grade PTSD.

We did however manage to snatch some time together as a family, playing in the new garden and unpacking boxes (!).

We also took a break as a couple from all the stress and had a long, lazy lunch at the Malta Inn, Maidstone. We had worked hard all morning, disassembling furniture and despairing of the heat. Then at midday we dropped everything and headed to the restaurant. We were early and walked along the lock, admiring the boats and commenting that if Finley had been with us, he probably would have fallen in by now.


It was pretty awesome that he wasn’t with us to be honest, because my meal was lovely and I didn’t have to share any of it with Colonel Ketchup Chops!

We went with the ‘go big or go home’ approach and had three courses plus a cheeky large glass of wine for me. Why not?! We bloody deserved it – we’d just dismantled a thirty-six piece Ikea storage unit and not called each other a ‘knob-head’ once!

The restaurant was lively, lots of people were eating and chatting and we were there for quite a while. Our main meals were particularity tasty, a massive mixed grill with steak, gammon, sausages and chicken with a side of chips, onion rings, salad and a fried egg. I stole the mushroom from his plate, he doesn’t like them anyway! My main was the steamed sea bass with Mediterranean vegetables, potatoes and a really tasty Greek salad. I love sea bass, I order it often and I really enjoyed this combination.



We followed these up with deserts, a huge Rocky Road sundae and a raspberry cheesecake – which turned out to be of the baked variety! I’m not sure I can accurately put into words how much I adore baked cheesecake – But I think this pretty much sums it up…

The staff were friendly and welcoming and our lovely waitress, was fun and helpful and snuck us some extra chips. As you can tell from the note left for him, she and Adam had some fun banter!


*our meal was free of charge courtesy of Beefeater but as always these are my real opinions and I did end up calling my husband a knob-head the next day anyway*

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  1. I’m going to have to move soon! In pursuit of the unfortunate fact that relationship break ups often result in moves. At least I won’t have to decide which is most stressful! 😀 Glad you got through the move. & the food looks nice at least! #StayClassyMama

  2. Stay Classy Mama Link Party 11-08 – Admissions Of A Working Mother says:

    […] a bit of a blog hiatus due to ‘THE MOVE’ and utter exhaustion/ depression, I’ve gone a bit mad this last week and published about six […]

  3. I find that a glass of wine helps the whole moving process!! It also creates a game of ‘where did I pack…..’ once you’re moved in! Also ‘why did I pack that I there?!’ I think it makes it more of a game, adds an element of surprise!! Also numbs the pain of anything getting broken!! Really enjoyed reading this post! #stayclassymama

  4. Nice meal, you deserved it! Any moving house-related activity is pretty stressful and hard work! #StayClassyMama

  5. Last time we moved I had just had no. 2 by c section so I got out of packing and lifting. During another previous house move I was 8 months pregnant so again managed to avoid any hard work….I highly recommend pregnancy as a way to reduce moving house stress 😉
    Sounds like a great meal!

  6. low grade PTSD…and calling your other a knobhead..both almost had me in hysterics…I am a raging wierdo in the fact I love moving house…perhaps because I have lived in last count 25 different houses over my 28 years…recon I had gypsy blood…and man am I wanting seabass now!!!yum! #stayclassymama xx

  7. I can understand wny they say moving is the most stressful life event, if only belongings could magic themselves into the right places!

  8. Mmmmmm Rocky Road! I hate moving with a passion. Every time I vow never again. Need to win the lotto and find my forever house! #stayclassymama xx

  9. Moving feels like punishment. Pack, clean, purge, clean, pack more. Store crap in other peoples basements. label correctly for later use. Hah! It’s simply awful. Brave for de-assembling an IKEA item. How did reassembly go? #stayclassymama

  10. Moving is gross esp with a kid in tow. Always a delight to have a drink and food without the small people around, who have zero concept of a relaxing lunch date #stayclassy

  11. we moved recently and yes, it is super stressful. your meal at the inn looks and sounds fab! and its funny isn’t it when you go somewhere, you end up wondering what it would be like with the little one! #stayclassymama

  12. min1980 says:

    I’m hopefully moving house soon (once my purchase actually goes through-argh!) and this sounds like a great way of easing the stress. I know I’m going to need it as I have all this palaver to come-removals, unpacking Ikea stuff, re-assembling the four poster bed which I have no idea about…Hope the rest of your move went well. #StayClassyMama

  13. We have to move soon – I’m just pretending we don’t…argh! #Stayclassymama

  14. alisonlonghurst says:

    I’m glad I’ve just eaten because otherwise I would be dribbling! This looks so good and you just can’t beat a sneaky lunchtime glass of wine 🙂 I hope you’re settling into your new home. Alison x #stayclassymama

  15. Ugh – moving is the WORST. It’s only fair that you treated yourself to a meal in order to get a break from it. I’m a big cheesecake fan myself – what’s not to love about cheese and cake? #stayclassymama

  16. Oooh this sounds lovely! I love Beefeater, its always so chilled there. Especially without the little ones! Hope the rest of move is ok, I bloody hate moving its the worst 🙁 #stayclassymama

  17. Moving is always a stressful time but it’s really nice you got to have some time to un wind at a lovely restaurant. Sounds like it’s a really nice place and the pictures are making me hungry! #StayClassyMama

    Jordanne ||

  18. jeremy@thirstydaddy says:

    I can’t imagine moving now. Somehow we have accumulated enough crap that it would probably take a month. Lunch looks great. Nice to be able to get a few minutes alone with the knobhead. #stayclassy

  19. jeremy@thirstydaddy says:

    I can’t even imagine trying to move now. Somehow we have accumulated so much crap it would take a month. Lunch looks great. Nice to be able to enjoy a few moments alone with mr knobhead #stayclassy

  20. Moving house is awful, especially with a little one. And you end up in a food void so good plan to escape and eat out. #Stayclassymama

  21. 2travellingtots says:

    Sounds like a very well deserved ‘lunch date’ and it looks yummy! Plus go hard or go home…only way to do it! hope you’re all settled in now! #stayclassymama

  22. Haha love the final disclaimer! That meal looks SO good…Beefeater rocks’ big time. So lovely to have quality time together 🙂 #stayclassymama xx

  23. Those chips look divine! I moved house for something like the 7th time last year, this time with a then 18 month old in tow, I have to say it was the easiest move I’ve ever had and the one I dreaded the most. Reason for this? I paid someone else to do it. Best thing I’ve ever done! Congrats on the move! #stayclassy

  24. Cor, that photo of the canal is stunning, what a gorge spot! Yes you totes deserved a break from unpacking hell, and lunch out is always the reward for not calling said husband a knob head. It’s funny but a cheery waiter/waitress can really make a meal more enjoyable, we had a lovely waitress at Pizza Express on a recent trip to Bath. I hope you’ve got to the bottom of your boxes? It’s alway the ‘crap drawer’ box that finishes me!! #stayclassymama

  25. Well done on avoiding the all out war that can accompany Ikea anything.

    Glad you got to have some time together. Like the idea of go large or go home!


  26. Lisa | Thirtysomething Belle says:

    We having moved for about 5 years but Adam has the bright idea of doing to so this December so I feel your pain. I hope you get settled in quickly lovely! The lock looks pretty and that food is making my hungry! Lisa x #stayclassymama

  27. It’s not even 8am and I’m lusing over that dessert you had…Sometimes the only way to get over a stressf7l move is a milli9n calories! #stayclassymama

  28. The Mum Project says:

    OMG YUM. That meal looks delish. So nice that you finally had a moment for yourself and your husband. A much deserved glass de VINO! I hope you are more settled in now. : ) I have missed you! hahaha

  29. Moving is the worse! And everyday you don’t call the husband a knob-head is a good day. #stayclassymama

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