The Malta Inn, Maidstone

“MOVING home is more stressful than a relationship breakdown, divorce or even a new job.” According to Google

“It’s more stressful than having baby!” According to my colleagues.

We originally booked this week off months ago for a ‘stay-cation’ for the three of us, trips to the beach, BBQ’s in the garden – that kind of thing. We did it last year and had lots of fun.

In the end it became our “moving house holiday”, which wasn’t much of a holiday at all. In fact I’d say it was the exact opposite of a holiday – it was a stress filled extravaganza that left us with bad backs, no internet and low grade PTSD.

We did however manage to snatch some time together as a family, playing in the new garden and unpacking boxes (!).

We also took a break as a couple from all the stress and had a long, lazy lunch at the Malta Inn, Maidstone. We had worked hard all morning, disassembling furniture and despairing of the heat. Then at midday we dropped everything and headed to the restaurant. We were early and walked along the lock, admiring the boats and commenting that if Finley had been with us, he probably would have fallen in by now.


It was pretty awesome that he wasn’t with us to be honest, because my meal was lovely and I didn’t have to share any of it with Colonel Ketchup Chops!

We went with the ‘go big or go home’ approach and had three courses plus a cheeky large glass of wine for me. Why not?! We bloody deserved it – we’d just dismantled a thirty-six piece Ikea storage unit and not called each other a ‘knob-head’ once!

The restaurant was lively, lots of people were eating and chatting and we were there for quite a while. Our main meals were particularity tasty, a massive mixed grill with steak, gammon, sausages and chicken with a side of chips, onion rings, salad and a fried egg. I stole the mushroom from his plate, he doesn’t like them anyway! My main was the steamed sea bass with Mediterranean vegetables, potatoes and a really tasty Greek salad. I love sea bass, I order it often and I really enjoyed this combination.



We followed these up with deserts, a huge Rocky Road sundae and a raspberry cheesecake – which turned out to be of the baked variety! I’m not sure I can accurately put into words how much I adore baked cheesecake – But I think this pretty much sums it up…

The staff were friendly and welcoming and our lovely waitress, was fun and helpful and snuck us some extra chips. As you can tell from the note left for him, she and Adam had some fun banter!


*our meal was free of charge courtesy of Beefeater but as always these are my real opinions and I did end up calling my husband a knob-head the next day anyway*

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